Jumat, 29 Maret 2013

Good Friday

The wind has blown itself out it seems looking from the window out into the front garden.  I don't know how cold it is, I have lit the log fire to keep my feet warm and help stop the drafts that come down the chimney and under the doors.

It's good Friday and but what I don't understand is why Easter gets moved so much, why can it be late March one year then late April the next.  I remember being taught about it but still surely the church could come together and pick a date that could be near static like May Day!

I had writers block on Wednesday but Thursday afternoon another chapter raced across the screen, I wonder if I am putting myself under too much pressure.  It would be good to have the second book ready for kindle as I get the first one printed but that is a tight deadline.

I had a lie in this morning, well till 8.30 and my stomach is certainly let me know the bile sat there for too long, I truly wish I could have had my stomach put back in place.  The thought of having chemo is in the back of my mind, to think once it starts working out of the system my bile is going to bring it back up into the stomach and throat before I finally dispose of the stuff.  Not a nice thought really, because of the toxins within the chemicals it will make the bile that much more painful.

I know the last thing I should be thinking of is chemo, I am still in the stable state of meso but it is a worry that stays in my thoughts.

I had my last aromatherapy yesterday for quite a few weeks, my therapist and friend is having her hip replaced today.  I hope it goes well, although she isn't being knocked out.  I don't think I could stand it watching someone breaking a joint in my body and then forcing a ceramic replacement in.  I do hope she manages to drop off to sleep with the help of some sedation.

I read that another person was diagnosed recently and once again told that chemo would only give him 4 months of extra time and wasn't worth doing.  Come on doctors no one knows for sure how long chemo gives any certain person.  If these oncologists took the time to get involved with the charities that understand chemo they might find out that people with meso react differently.  It makes me wonder if we have come any further forward in the last 10 years. 

Our hols aren't far away now, and as much as I can't wait to get into some sun, well hopefully some sun, I just can't be bothered either.  I feel down, just can't seem to pull myself up from whatever it is that is making me feel this way.  My aches and pains aren't any worse, although my 3rd boob has been playing up a little.  But surely this can't be affecting my mental state of mind, I've put up with a lot more pain than I have right now.   I think to add to my list of meso I will add SAD, am sure that's the problem.

Well that's it for me today, I hope you all enjoy Easter and if out searching for those eggs, find them. 

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