Selasa, 16 Juli 2013

Morning nightmare!

I was hot yesterday, the last few days on the cruise I started having really bad sweats during the night, I blamed the aircon as I was also starting with a stuffy nose etc.  Yesterday was a long day at work and I came home exhausted.
Sitting at the desk hasn't done my back much good, the pain has moved down and to the left, although still putting pressure on the bladder etc.  My nose didn't stop running and by 8 last night I had the feeling I was no longer free of a cold.
At 5.30 this morning I woke up with that terrible pain in my chest region, either its fluid on the pericardium or my hernia is pumping bile right up and causing pain, but even worse my legs ached, I was covered in sweat and had a temperature.  I managed to cough up quite a lot off my chest (I could never had done that a couple of years ago).  For the chest pain I took some morphine as it wasn't easing and I couldn't get back to sleep.  The morphine seemed to make my stomach burn, I felt like all the symptoms of flu were starting.
Hubby got up at 6 as the sun wasn't allowing him to sleep, I tried to settle but the fight or flight adrenalin was starting up too.  I didn't want to get up because I felt so tired but in order to fight the fear and hopefully get the pain to move I too came down stairs.  Bear rushed to greet me then sat by my side and gave me those big brown eyes.  I had a mouthful of coffee, which didn't help, then hubby stood and gently rubbed my back, the movement alone wanted me to make me sleep.  After pacing around I knew I needed bed so climbed the stairs, blew my nose of the umpteenth time and climbed back under the sheet.  I heard hubby come up too and he laid down next to me, he knew I would start a breathing problem as I was going downhill fast.  He gently rubbed my back until I fell back asleep.
8.30 am and I feel a lot better, although my head is thick, my breathing is ok, my chest still hurts but nowhere as bad as it was.  I have booked an emergency appointment with the doctor, will also see about my extended swollen tummy while there too.  I can hear my own chest rattling when I am breathing so fear I have the start of a chest infection.  I think I will also ask him to listen to the right lung too as I feel I have something going on in their too, hope it isn't fluid as its sore at the bottom. The sooner I get something for it am sure I will feel much better.
Another long day ahead too at the office, then tonight I have an appointment with the back man Jason, lets hope this is the last one that I need and then my lower parts will work again without pressure pains and my back is back to normal.
Will keep you posted on the chest infection. I love life but when you wake feeling like this I start to worry about what it will be like when things get worse.  The fear of not being able to cope with the condition and the additional pain makes me want to give up sometimes.  I don't think I can go through everything I went through before, I'm not strong enough to cope with the pain, the constant fluid in my back, the sweats etc.  I was 42 when thing started getting really bad, I'm nearly 53.  I remember when I thought it was endo and told hubby I didn't think I would be able to stand the pain in my 60's if this was going to keep happening every 3 months, now I don't think I could take it in my 50's.
Meanwhile I hope everyone is enjoying the sun, even though it is hard to do anything in such heat.  We aren't use to working in such temperatures and everything becomes hard work!

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