After dosing myself up yesterday and that pain finally receding to the back of my mind I went to work, I had arranged for the Auditor and I to have a meeting so I had to go regardless. The sun was shining which lifted my spirits.
Before I left for work I spoke to Andrea, her dad has being fighting mesothelioma for, blimey, it must be 6 years now, although his meso is steady he has developed NSCLC which is so unfair. One killer cancer is bad enough without another. It was good to hear her voice, I haven't seen her for a few years, I think the ball at Newcastle, was the last time.
As soon as I walked in Mal, my second in command, asked how I was after working so long yesterday. I told him I had a crap night and it was probably down to lifting and moving files from drawers and shelves. He had offered to keep getting up and getting me stuff but I can't have that, he would never get his own work done.
I didn't accomplish any work, and came home around 1.15 in time for lunch and then Liz, my editor and chief book reader, landed. We worked through the second book, correcting my mistakes, have only the last 6 chapters left, so hopefully it may make Kindle and the printers by Xmas.
I didn't get any further information from Dr Breen but a friend in the meso circle sent me the website of his facility, why couldn't he just do that originally?
http://www.ablationforcancer.co.uk/cryoablation.html This says what they can do, and yes they do treat tumours on the chest wall and in the lung. How come I have never found it before? The amount of searches I have done for ablation and never once has this shown up! I am going to fill out the submission form and see what happens.
A couple of days ago I received a request to ask for a link to another help site - I emailed back to ask if they were attached to lawyers, nothing has come back saying they are but for any information you have to fill out a form. This leads me to believe they sell on names to lawyers in the states, so please be careful who you give your name to. The site is called mesotheliomagroup.com.
I also received a sad email this morning, Chrissi has taken her wings. Over the years Bud and Chrissi have sent emails just to say how she is doing. She had major surgery a couple of years ago but the meso came back. She passed in her sleep and thankfully without lots of tubes and wires in her. She put up a brave fight but another life was needlessly ended due to asbestos.
I again have woken up with that rotten pain in the chest, I soaked the bed last night with sweat, even my pillow was wet! At least my dreams didn't wake me with pain last night and I slept reasonably well, although I can't understand why being so wet didn't wake me up, it must have been a residue of the morphine that kept me knocked out.
I can't decide whether to go to work or stay in the warmth of my office at home. The weather outside looks cold and wet, I think we will be in for a long winter. I have also asked Joyce to come over this afternoon and maybe massage my legs - this time I will stay away from my stomach, I don't want any bile reappearing in my throat.
I have been drinking milk before I go to bed and having a sip during the night when I wake up to visit the loo. I think this is doing the trick - but I am terrified of it coming back like it did before.
On another good note Bear's head has finally started to get better, it has taken some time to heal which was helped by him trying to scratch it as much as possible and rip the scabs off that kept forming. But you can't watch a dog 24\7. He has been very much by Gary's side, giving him face butts. Bear doesn't lick, his affection is putting his snout into your face. As Gary was digging all the potatoes up Bear kept nudging him and butting his face.
I live to fight another day, I am hoping this stomach of mine will remain at this level at least until I have seen Prof Fennell next Tuesday. Who knows by the next week I may be on treatment and these cancer pains will recede as the chemo takes effect, I just hope I can cope with the treatment. Having chemotherapy is never a walk in the park.
Till the next blog.......