Rabu, 16 Oktober 2013

Life is settling

The last few days have been up and down, mornings still feeling sickly and taking its time for me to feel human.  Even with domperidone tablets nothing has changed.  I wonder what causes the stomach to feel so awful.
Monday I had the dressing changed only as I had become flat for the first time in a long time, it didn't last long, Monday and Tuesday were both draining days and this morning will be no exception.
I didn't get in to work but yesterday I spent 3 hours on the computer dialled in so I was quite chuffed I had managed to sit in one place for so long.  Its times like these you really appreciate your colleagues, they have learnt their jobs well and can run the department with out you, together with doing some of my work, I don't need to stress as much as I used to.  If the industry was manic like several years ago things might be different but since 2009 the Construction industry took a heavy blow and more so in the North East where recovery is always last.
I received a copy of the letter that has gone missing to the oncologist, each time I read any thing now about my stomach my heart sinks.  Some describe it as extensive other as multiple masses, and to think my left lung is stable only my right is playing up but in the scheme of things this isn't the problem.  If my back had been great I would have had a wonderful summer, if the stomach hadn't been exposed to this cancer I would still be in remission, kind of, from last November!
I tried ironing on Monday but only managed 45 minutes, I thought it wouldn't be so bad but it did tire me quite quickly, this is so strange as ironing isn't really pushing the boat out is it.  I think I will need to teach Gary this art sooner rather than later!
Everyone in the office has come down with colds and flu, so even if I was fit I would not be exposing myself to the germs.  One thing we have all learnt is to stay away from bugs, regardless of being on chemotherapy, as if we get a bug in our lungs then this could lead to complications and even death.
My drain itself has finally settled down, it has been tough, but maybe with me being low with everything else then maybe it took longer to get over.  The district nurses now will only come Monday and Thursday to dress and I guess over the months this may drop, I can't see me forever having to have the nurse changing it.
My Macmillan nurse is marvellous, she rang yesterday to let me know things still weren't moving and has faxed Prof Fennell's letter off to the Oncologists as they haven't been received.  My last Macmillan nurse did nothing like this, she would come and tell me how to take pain control or see if I needed to speak to anyone regarding feelings.  She was never pro active in helping me get doctors appointments etc, she has brought a breath of fresh air into our circumstances.
I received the sad news that Don Smitley received his wings this morning.  His daughter, Jennifer, has been journaling his fight with mesotheliomahelp and her Dad also wrote a few entries.  Sad thing is we all thought he was doing so well.  No one really knows what mesothelioma will do.  My thoughts are with Jennifer and her family.
On that sad news I am closing the blog here today.

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