Yesterday was a tough day, I wish I could say anything else but! Showering was hard work as I was weak and breathless, my mind has changed a gear as now I am sure the chemo is giving my friend Meso a good kicking, in Yorkshire they would say up the jacksey.
I sat most of the day on the sofa after that, I chatted to Lou in the morning, but I missed my meso mate Mavis, after reading her blog, I now know why, she too had had a rough time.
I had visitors in the day too, this was tiring but I put a brave face forward. One was my late aunts sister, Maureen and her husband James. I used to play with her children during the summer holidays when they visited from Lyme Regis, we were only about 10 then. They always call up when they visit my Dad's brother. Liz and Les arrived about 10 minutes later and the 6 of us chatted for a while before everyone left. Everyone seems ready for the big day. Liz and Les were out giving presents so at least we were able to get one of ours given way. I have sent quite a few bouquets of flowers this year as shopping hasn't been something I can do but I think flowers are beautiful to look at.
We finally ate our lunch at 3, it had been turned down in the oven due to company arriving, boy was I hungry but it didn't go down very well. I couldn't decide how I felt, was it me, the chemo or the meso? My brother called around at 7 with some emergency for work which meant going into my office and going on the main computer. Sitting over the desk could have started it off, I really don't know but I needed 60 severdol, the pain was centre chest and coming on fast. I had to forget work and slowly make my way back to the lounge. That was it for me, my temp was extremely low, my heart beat high and blood pressure my normal low. I was restless, pain spreading around my back but the thought in my head was yes, the meso s being hammered. The chemo is working and I should feel bad, just because it isn't like the chemo regimes before doesn't mean nothing is happening.
Bedtime arrived but I really didn't want to lie down, again I did the preparation in stages. Changed downstairs then sat for 10 minutes. Cleaned my teeth then rested another 10. I got into bed and Gary did his talking me down. Before long I was sound asleep.
I woke around 7 so did Gary, getting up wasn't that pleasant my stomach felt a bit awful. Once downstairs and on the sofa I realised I felt 100% better than I had yesterday. I even managed to wash my hair myself today, how amazing I felt doing that. Today was certainly on the way back up, but I am not over exciting myself yet, we go up and down faster than elevators in department stores.
Today come hell or high water our Christmas Tree was going up, after the dogs had a walk, poor Bear was chewing at the bit as he hasn't had a Walk for 2 days!
Gary started pulling out boxes, it has taken most of the day and bit by bit we have done the tree in the living room and one in the hall.
I now feel like Christmas is starting now, only have some gifts to our family and friends and we are ready, although the dogs pressies still need wrapping. Lexi is already excited and is sniffing around the trees. Bear I am not sure, he isn't as bright as our German Shepherd. He wanted his tummy tickled when we were doing the tree, something that was once so easy and took no effort. I gave him a slight ruffle but his eyes said it all 'is that it?'
So feeling better, I guess over day 8 or 15 are the worst, now it's up until the next killer dose. I am also pleased to say that Mavis woke up feeling better today, maybe us meso warriors are united in more wys than one. Lastly I hope Ray is feeling brighter too, I know that Amanda has said he is struggling badly on chemo, lets hope Christmas Day is one of his good one.
To my friend in South Africa, I pray you too aren't suffering too badly, I know last time was hard and again this will do what it did last time, hold back the meso and give you a remission with stable disease.
Looking back helps us remember what we went through and what we achieved through the pain, I just need to keep that thought in sight and so, my fellow fighters, do you.