I never envisaged the day I would not be able to climb the stairs and as time has gone on since September those stairs have really become a challenge, that much so that I shower downstairs and only go back up at bedtime. Needless to say by the time I have reached the top, stopping at both small landings, I am totally breathless.
Finally I gave in and rang a couple of chair lift people, one said he would be out the next day, NorthEast Stair Lifts, as recommended by my Macmillan group. Well a young engineer called about 4.30 the next day, said he knew nothing about the job but was asked to come and see us. He left saying he would have someone from the office ring and rearrange with another surveyor and sales person. I am still waiting. Thankfully I also organised with Dolphin Lifts & Mobility, normally I don't mention company names, but this company are outstanding. The director called out yesterday, we decided before he left to go ahead and he has offered, foc to install a couple of straight pieces in so I can manage until ours is manufactured and installed as a one piece. Guess wanting a lift this time of year is hard, companies are getting ready for Christmas Shutdown in 2 weeks.
Ok it may be a few hundred quid more expensive than the first one but it is also peace of mind, if the first can't be bothered with selling me one what would service be like if the chair broke down? Not forgetting the gentleman who took my call was quite rude at the same time on the telephone. So I am pleased with my decision. Monday the free lift will be fitted and I can then look forward to bed time instead of seeing it as a really horrible task.
I had looked at an elevator, but we are just 10cm short for it to fit by the stairs, I don't want building work to be done so that unfortunately that is that.
I didn't wake up feeling that great yesterday, the pain in my chest was quite prominent so I took 60 ml morphine to knock it back. It actually worked so once the pain was under control I did feel a lot better. The chemo hasn't, so far, made me feel any worse but I am hoping the pains are worse because the chemo is doing its job. It did in November 2012 so I have to hope it is now.
I am annoyed, if that Dr P had taken the trouble in July to maybe look at options for me instead of telling me he would never treat me again with anything maybe this 6cm tumour would not be hanging in my chest and I wouldn't be breathless or in pain. It seems to me across the country the whole system is so different. The moment someone in the South has change they are offered treatment or trials, mine has always been lets wait until the next scan etc. I don't know what is best anymore, holding back a couple of months to see if the mesothelioma is slow growing or to go straight in with a mm of growth and zap the bastard. All I know now is that I am in the serious stuff here.
That's my news so far, I am hoping for more painfree day but I will have to wait and see, although I have already popped some additional morphine just to get on top of that centre chest pain. Hope the chemo is blasting it's cells to pieces.
I am having to look for a wheelchair so I can get out of the house, walking has become so restrictive that I can't go anywhere. Although I won't be able to use it to take the dogs. can't see it going across the fields and through the woods somehow. Gosh I wish I was fit again, why has this taken on so much and so soon. I could walk in the summer, now 10 yards and I am done for. I have to pray that the chemo treatment will work and that by March I will be back over the fields with the dogs and hubby enjoying life again.
I still haven't finished writing my cards or even getting presents wrapped, I did start in plenty of time but with my feet swelling up, standing wasn't a great thing to do. So after going to see about a wheel chair today I am hoping to get the Christmas Presents finished and the cards done ready for posting. Everything seems to take so long these days, yet time passes so fast!
I have again had an article published by Mesotheliomahelp.org which you can read here I like writing for this group because again it is getting meso out there and the views of others.
I was totally knocked back about Steve's Scan, he has been doing so much recently, running around, visiting etc yet his meso has changed. My heart goes out to Linda and Steve as it is only a year ago since he too last had treatment to buy more time. Why do some get years and some of us only months. Many often wonder is the 5 months treatment is worth the 6 months of life, I would say yes because quality only happens when the treatments are given. Without treatment the symptoms of meso are painful, ok chemo is horrendous but the pain of the cancer is worse. As it grows it is damaging more of the inside, pressing on more nerves and eating away all the goodness that our bodies require. I know that Gary would disagree on part of this as he says he would have given up on the fight years ago, but unless you are the one truly battling to stay alive you don't really know what you would do. I truly hope that something will be found that suits Steve and he gets to fight again and once again put meso back where it belongs into remission. As Lou in the states says, there is no remission each day we live with mesothelioma and yes we do.